Quiet

If someone had ever told me that it would bother me as much not to hear from my mom as to hear from her 5 plus times a day, I would never have believed it.
Today was an anomaly--no pages, no calls, no visits at work.
When I returned home I asked myself, do I call or do I wait for a call?
What's she up to? What's she thinking?

So I called....I took the bait
I bet my girl odds on how quickly the conversation would turn bad...5 secs, 10 secs...
it was 6 secs from Hello to I had a bad day. Now what do I do? What more can I say? What else can I say?
Our conversation lasted exactly 18 mins with the last few being her hurrying me off the phone because she didn't like the conversation about her weekend.

Do you know how much it pisses me off being hurried off the phone......it's not like she was in a rush to go somewhere........
or is this what she wants.......I'm still thinking about her and what she's up to and what she's thinking..........is she thinking about me?? Not likely, I'm told.

That's my problem. Too much thinking, no internal shut off, no real quiet.........
I know she'll call again, I think.